he said: you can never completely know a person.
she said: but you can know what she or he is like.
I am not asking for a fairy tale. a happily ever after. I know that it takes a lot of work and effort. It is a constant struggle. that sometimes, you feel like giving up and calling it quites. that it cant be rosy and sweet all the time, that sometimes you get so tired of the nuances and small unimportant things. that everything seems pointless...
I dont think I really understand what is required in a relationship...or for that matter how to act and get along in a relationship
but I do know what I want and what I need to do in one.
There is no reason that I should get into one if there is no utility and benefit from it. if all I get is grief and sadness then there is no way I am getting myself into the mess. I want someone to be there for me. To trust, understand and respect me even when he doesnt always agree, even when I am not always perfect. In the same trend of thoughts, what I am needed to do is to stand by him, to make him a better person than he can ever be, alone or with someone else. To make him a bigger man, to trust in him, to invest in him, to make sure that he continues to be as great as he can be, with or without me. that to me, is a strong lady, and that is what I strive to be always, if I am ever in a relationship.
I dont need the chemistry, the spark.. all that crap. I think I heard that x miles above ground. in the middle of nowhere. from watching he's just not that into you, from justin long's character.. that all these chemistry, all that love at first sight, all that fluttering hearts and sweating palms are all crap. sure you get nervous. who wouldnt get nervous when you are meeting a stranger whom you know will be featured heavily in your life, whom can control your emotions, now till a long time. but all that talk about being not suitable because there is no chemistry, no passion. that's bull.
Love, I can tell Buffy now, doesnt need hurt and pain to make it feel more real. Love needs effort, needs your commitment to do well. to feel real, to feel the passion and fire. Because you are willing to give your all to make sure that everything is worth it, to make sure that he is the person that you are going to spend the rest of your live with, that is why there is passion and undying promise to continue on...
That heart, that tenacious determination, that unfaltering faith and belief are what make it beautiful, thats what make it..love. Love can fade. Love can suddenly vanish. Love can becomes less and less like what it used to look like and become more and more like what responsibility feels like. But that heart. that faith cant.
